As a working mom, my days are often defined by schedules, meetings and deadlines. I’m with other people creating plans, strategizing and working the details. Efficiency is the goal each day. More for less – more output, results and accomplishments for less energy, time and money. Does it always go that way? No, but that’s the name of the game at work, we’re all in that game together. I leave the office to pick up my kids, ages 8 and 6. Carried by the momentum of the day, I nail it – get to the After School Club with 10 minutes to spare. I’m good.

And then it all breaks down. No one will finish what they are doing and get their stuff to go home. They each want to talk, at the same time. One forgot their homework, the other wants a play date – can they call the friend on my cell phone now? We finally make it home, walk in the door and now everyone is starving. But I’m at least 30 minutes from dinner on the table. They circle me like vultures, the complaining/whining escalates. Nothing is working; no one will practice the piano, finish their homework or do anything “helpful.”  The logic and tempo of the day have evaporated.  I’m about to lose it.

I can’t be the only one that has this phenomenon with their kids, that transition period in the early evening, the witching hour.  Sometimes I do lose it, and I snap at them. Not my shiniest moments as a mother, but always humbling. Other times I make the transition from work to home like a world champion.  Sometimes it’s like the stars have aligned in my favor. But the majority of the times where it all works, I’ve thought ahead and planned for it.

Here are a few of the things that help me help me smooth out the transition to home and family at the end of the day:

• Plan for the hunger meltdown: give the kids an extra snack to have in the late afternoon or have one  ready that won’t fill them too much (like fruit or veggies)
• Create jobs: these could range from setting the table to being a food taster, they can help but mostly feel like they are getting to be with their mom or dad. Rotate jobs to keep it interesting.
• Meal planning (not my forte, but working on it): design a meal plan that requires minimal prep and cook time for each night of the week.
• The path of least resistance: don’t resist whatever mood or state the children are in at that point in the day; easier said than done, yes, but patience and empathy combined with holding the line in terms of respect go a long way to having a night that’s more in your hands than out of control

How do you handle tricky transitions with your family?

STH
Working Mother of Two
Sometimes Super, Often Laughing, Always Learning